my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
