Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dating After Heartbreak
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All the doctor said was why