it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
from now on my penis is your penis
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.