whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
