Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat