It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
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Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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