I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
