remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
