and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
