I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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