wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
