Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
