hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".