You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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