To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
