It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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