At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize