bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
