She's JV to your varsity
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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