everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
