Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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