so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
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I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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