I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize