woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize