i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES