Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means