as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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