It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
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he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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