did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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