what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
