We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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