I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
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Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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