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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
