I cockslap morals
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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