i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize