I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I think I just sharted jello shots
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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