party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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