all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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