i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
