Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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