I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dignity is for republicans.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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