once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
