Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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