You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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