We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again