2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth