I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species