I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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