DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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