this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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