please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize