I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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