I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
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he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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