Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
