like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
