I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
why is half of my head shaved?
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